Painful Memories Resurfacing
by Wolfen Artist of Hetalia
Summary: Prussia dreams of his time spent behind the wall and begins to doubt himself upon waking. Can Canada show his lover jsut how much he means to him, even if he's not a nation any more? Warning: slight non-con but it cuts off before anythign really bad, Evil Phsycotic Russia, talk of the Berlin wall and what went on behind it. M just to be safe.


A/N: this is a one-shot done for my 150th (or 200th I can't remember which) reviewer, I can't really remember what their username is cause they sent me the request for the one-shot ages ago and I can't remember which one is was, so if you were the one that wanted this one shot just tell me and I'll fix it. I hope you like it and I hope I stuck to the prompt well.

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia Axis Powers. The rights belong to the glorious HimaPapa.

Prussia opens his eyes and frowns. He's not in the room he shares with his lover, the sweet, often overlooked country of Canada. He also doesn't feel the warmth of said nation at his side, though he is positive that he's fallen asleep with the man in his arms. Looking around, he finds himself alone in a nearly bare room. It seems familiar somehow, but Prussia can't quite place why. It contains only a chest and the bed he's on. The bed is devoid of any sheets, blankets, or pillows, as well as being hard and covered in questionable stains, some of which look suspiciously like blood. Prussia shivers in the frigid air of the room and tries to wrap his arms around himself in the hopes of conserving a little warmth. When He finds himself unable to do this, he realizes that his wrists are chained to the headboard and his body is bare, with only dried blood, bruises, and a dried white substance on it.

Suddenly, something clicks in Prussia's head, and he knows exactly where he is. He is in his "room" at Russia's house, from when he was under the communist nation's control, during the time of the Berlin Wall. It was a place which he'd prayed he'd never have to return to. A place which held horrors, like nothing you could ever imagine unless you'd lived through them yourself. He'd lived through unspeakable things while trapped in this room, and now, by some twist of fate, he has returned.

Prussia struggles desperately against the chains which bind him, to no avail. They're strong, and keep him firmly attached to the hard mattress. Liquid terror shoots through Prussia's body, a kind of fear that he hasn't felt in over two decades.

The faint sound of footsteps approaching the door makes Prussia fall still. He knows those footsteps well, and the sound of them drawing closer makes him increase his nearly frantic struggling tenfold. The footsteps come closer and closer to the door until it opens. The dark room is illuminated by the light filtering in around a large figure, whose silhouette fills the doorway. Prussia freezes when the door opens, staring at it in horror.

"Are you ready for our session today, my pet?" Russia asks, his cold voice sending shivers down Gilbert's spin. He desperately tries to hide his terror, not wanting to show any weakness to the monster who stood before him. Showing weakness meant that Russia had won, and Prussia would be damned if he ever let that happen.

He remembers this. Every day when he was at Russia's house- or what he assumed was every day, as he couldn't tell time in a room with no windows- Russia would come to the room for one of their "Sessions." Russia would beat and torture Prussia, raping him as well. He was trying to break the ex-nations spirit. Prussia was determined, however, not to give the insane man the satisfaction of success. As Russia was leaving after each session, Prussia would spit at his back. It was small, but it was Prussia's show of his defiance. It showed that he was not broken, and he would refuse to give in to the tortures which he was forced to suffer through. He was defiant; he would not show Russia the pure fear which pulsed through him. (BETA NOTE: You used a semi-colon correctly! Your semi-colon-obsessed beta is proud! :'D)((Yay! Yay I did god! ^-^))

In the present, Russia stands at the side of the bed, staring down at Prussia's form. He reaches out a hand and runs it down the thin man's chest, laughing when he feels him stiffen.

"Don't you like it when we become one?"

Prussia growls and glares at the man above him. He receives a punch in the jaw for his efforts.

"Don't be defiant. It will only make things more painful for you," Russia growls back at him. He pulls down his pants enough to accomplish what he wants, not deeming it important enough to remove the rest of his clothes.

Prussia struggles as Russia climbs on top of him. His struggles are rewarded with his hand being twisted around, sending a fierce pain down his arm. He bits his lip to force back the scream that rises in his throat.

Russia forces his legs apart and leans down to whisper in his ear, "Scream for me," as he forces himself into Prussia's body.

An excruciating pain rips through him as he feels like he's being torn in half. An inhuman scream rips itself from his throat.

Prussia shoots up in bed, yelling. He's in a cold sweat as he quiets and an eerie silence fills the room. He shakes violently, looking around to see that he's no longer in the dark cell from his past. He's back in his room that he and Canada share, with its white walls covered in red and black designs of maple leaves and Prussian eagles. There's a sound of rustling sheets next to him and he jumps away from it out of instincts. Looking down, he sees Canada staring up at him with wide violet-blue eyes, full of shock, worry, and fear.

"Prussia?" Canada says quietly, not wanting to possibly scare his lover, who was clearly shaken badly by whatever horrors had torn him away from sleep. He slowly reaches over and gets his glasses off the nightstand, putting them on in order to see the pale man more clearly in the low amount of light that's filtering through the curtains.

"Prussia, are you okay? What happened?" he asks nervously, concerned about why Prussia had been screaming in such a horrible way. Prussia's silence worries him even further. Canada places a gentle hand on his shoulder. Prussia shrinks away from his touch, which hurts Canada. Prussia had never avoided his touch before. He sits on his knees next to the man, trying to see his face.

"Please, Prussia, Gilbert, tell me what's wrong," Canada begs.

Hearing his human name seems to snap Prussia out of his trance. He looks at Canada and suddenly pulls him into a tight hug. Canada is surprised when Prussia moves so quickly, and he finds himself pressed against his lover's chest. Prussia presses his own face into the space between Canada's shoulder and neck, holding onto him with one arm around the blonde man's waist and the other around his shoulders, with his hand buried in Canada's soft hair.

Canada has been made even more worried now by the way that Prussia is clinging to him, like a lifeline. After a while, Prussia's violent shaking has slowed to a point where it's a slight shuddering that's barely there at all, but his grip on Canada has not loosened; it's still as tight as before. Canada tries to press him gently for answers, choosing to use his human name in hopes that Prussia will respond to it.

"Gilbert, Bear? What's wrong? Was it a nightmare?" he asks tentatively, not sure how Prussia will react to hearing the pet name that Canada often uses for him. He can feel Prussia nod into his neck.

"Do you want to tell me what it was about, Bear?"

"That time," Prussia whispers, his voice softer than Canada's is normally.

"What time, Gil?" Canada asks, confused.

"Behind the wall."

"Oh," is all that Canada says. Everyone knows that Prussia's time with Russia behind the Wall was a hard time for him, though no one except for Russia and Prussia truly know the full extent of what happened there. Not even the Baltic States or Russia's sisters know. When he was reunited with his brother, when the wall fell, he was close to death. Covered from head to toe in dried blood, bruises, and cuts, with the uniform that he'd last been seen in hanging off of him in tatters, where before it had fit perfectly over his lean frame. He'd looked like the hollow ghost of death himself. Though he was questioned by his brother, Hungary, and even Austria and Switzerland, all four of them wanting to know what had happened to their dear friend, he never told them.

When he and Canada had started dating, after Prussia had moved in with Canada from Germany's basement, Canada had wondered about it. He's seen the scars that litter Prussia's body, many coming from battles fought long ago when he was an empire in his prime under his favorite king, Frederick the Great. Other scars, however, are from the time he spent trapped behind the wall. Prussia had told Canada bits and pieces of what happened. How he'd been chained to a hard, wood-like mattress, getting tortured and beaten, rarely getting food. How occasionally Ukraine would treat his wounds and feed him, but he would always have to return to the dark room to be chained once again to the bed. Prussia had also hinted at Russia forcing intimacy on him, but Canada hadn't pushed him to say more, knowing that the memories were extremely painful for Prussia. He hadn't wanted to force his lover to remember such horrible things if he wasn't ready to.

"You dreamt you were back there, didn't you, Bear?"

Said man nods his head again. Canada tightens his hold on Prussia slightly.

"It's okay, Bear. You're not back there. You're here at home with me. You're safe. Russia isn't anywhere near here. It's just you and me, and I promise I'm not going to hurt you. I swear it."

Canada continues to utter soft reassurances into Prussia's ear. Gradually, he can feel his lover's body starting to relax, the albino's grip on him slowly loosening. After a bit, when Prussia is calmed down, he pulls away from Canada and curls up. He doesn't look at his lover as he whispers, "I'm sorry Matthew."

The worry which had been lessening grows stronger in Canada's heart once again. Prussia never uses his full human name. It's always his nickname for the smaller man: Birdie. On occasion, he'll use Mattie or Matt, but even that's extremely rare. He only ever uses Canada's full human name if something is really wrong.

"Bear, what's wrong? You never use my full human name."

"It's nothing, Matthew. Don't worry about it," he replies. He tries to give his lover a smile, but it's clear that his heart's not behind it, as it's strained and doesn't reach his eyes. Canada frowns, takes Prussia's face in his hands, and looks at him seriously.

"Gilbert Beilschmdit, Kingdom of Pruẞen, don't you dare try to lie to me, because you know that I'm not going to believe it for a second. Now please, tell me the truth, Bear." By the end of his little speech, his eyes are begging for Prussia to tell him what's going on.

Prussia just looks back into Canada's own. His red eyes are full of pain and sorrow, long buried. He hangs his head and speaks in a voice that Canada has to strain to hear.

"I'm so ashamed, Matthew. Look at me. Is this what I've been reduced to? Crying to my lover like a baby because of a bad dream? I was the mighty Kingdom of Prussia, feared across Europe as one of the strongest nations alive. My name struck fear into the hearts of millions of people, yet…now I'm what? A measly little town in Ottawa, Canada, one that people don't even know exists unless they live there. I feel so pathetic, crying at a mere dream. I was a fierce warrior, and now I'm reduced to a sobbing mess by the memory of my time behind that wretched wall. What do I have to be proud of? What do I have worth living for? Nothing, that's what."

Canada was shocked and hurt by Prussia's words. Does his lover really believe these things? How can he not see how much he means to Canada? Without Prussia around, Canada would have faded away a long time ago. Not because of anything with his country, but because he was forgotten so often that he'd begun to wonder if he was even needed in the world. The only thing that had kept him around for years was Kumajiro; contrary to popular belief, Kumajiro never forgot who his master was. The reason he was always asking who his master was was not so that the bear would remember, but so that his master would not forget.

Prussia was the first nation in a long time to remember who Canada was and not mistake him for his brother. Usually, he was only remembered when someone needed something from him, but this wasn't the case with Prussia. He had never mistaken him for his brother, even when they'd first met. He never forgot who Canada was, and without realizing it, he helped to keep the northern nation from fading from existence. When Prussia had asked him out, Canada had been happier than he was in a long while. For the first time since he was a tiny colony, living with France, he had felt loved. He had someone who cared and made him feel like he had a purpose and a reason to live. It didn't matter that the other nations still forgot him and mistook him for his brother; Prussia was always there to remind Canada the he was there and that he was loved.

Canada just stares at Prussia, wondering how he cannot see this. He feels hurt that Prussia thinks that he's worthless when he's the reason the Canada is still around. It also baffles the northern nation to think that his lover thinks of himself as weak for crying at his dream, when said dream is a memory of such a horrible time that he had managed to survive. Living through what he experienced behind the Berlin Wall when he was under Russia's control and at the man's full mercy makes Prussia the strongest person that Canada has ever known- and he's over two centuries old, so he's known a LOT of people. To be able to survive what he went through and be left with only night terrors like these just shows how strong Prussia truly is.

Watching his lover carefully, Canada speaks softly, "You don't believe that surviving everything you were put through behind that wall makes you strong? You're saying that you're weak because you're scared by the memory of the horrors you went through?" his voice drops in volume even more, and he fights back tears as he continues, "you really think that stopping me from fading away was useless? Would you prefer it if you had vanished with your nation and left me without anyone to remember me, without anyone to prevent me from disappearing from the world with you?"

Prussia's eyes widen seeing Canada so upset. He didn't think that saying he felt useless would upset his Canadian lover so much. Canada had told him about how he had been fading before he had come along. Prussia feels awful for making Canada think that he doesn't care about him, and he pulls his lover against his chest, holding his hand in the quiet nation's hair.

"I'm sorry, Birdie. I didn't mean it like that. You know that you mean the world to me. Please don't you ever think for even a moment that I'd want you to disappear. I just…I hate the feeling of being so weak. I mean, what kind of country cries to their lover about a scary dream?" Prussia says, trying to explain himself.

"The kind who has seen the worst that the world has to give them and came out of it a kind, loving, wonderful, strong person. I can't think of anyone who wouldn't have nightmares after what you have been through. You were able to live through your time behind that wall, you have seen horrors that most people can't even possibly imagine, and yet you're still able to smile and be happy and love. You're so much stronger than you think," Canada replies.

Prussia smiles and whispers, "If you say so, Birdie. Just please, don't you EVER think that I don't love you."

"Alright," Canada whispers back, returning the smile and nuzzling into Gilbert's chest. They lie back down under the blankets and drift off to sleep in each other's arms, content.

The End

A/N: I hope you like this. I really hated to write the beginning because it kills me to think of anyone hurting Prussia but I'm actually really happy about how it ended up. I hope that you guys enjoyed reading this and please give me feedback. I love getting reviews form you, so don't be shy. J

Until next time, Wolf-Chan out


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